DISCLAIMER: Before reading this article it should be noted that the writer is NOT actually on close personal terms with former X-Factor finalist Andy Abraham, so there is a chance this article will provide more questions than it does answers.
1. What Andy Abraham’s favourite type of Mr Kipling cake is.
A man’s favourite Mr Kipling cake can reveal rather a lot about his personality. For example, if a man’s favourite Mr Kipling cake is a French Fancy, he might be elegant and sweet, and if a man’s favourite Mr Kipling cake is not a French Fancy, then he’s probably a philistine. The identity of Andy Abraham’s favourite Mr Kipling cake, however, sadly remains a mystery to everyone who is not on close personal terms with him.
2. What Andy Abraham’s views are regarding the Middle East crisis.
A quick google search of Andy Abraham’s political views yields very little in the way of information – it seems he was not even amongst the plethora of minor celebrities to throw in their two cents regarding the Brexit debate. His view on the Middle East then, can only be known by those he knows very well indeed.
3. What Andy Abraham would like for Christmas this year.
In a perfect world, Andy Abraham would receive presents from the public three times a year: on his Birthday, on Christmas Day, and on 24th May, the anniversary of his performance of “Even If” at the 2008 Eurovision Song Contest in Belgrade. Unfortunately, however, most of the public are not aware what kind of presents Andy Abraham would like, and so this activity must be reserved exclusively for those in his inner circle.
4. Whether or not Andy Abraham pronounces the word liquorice with a “sh” sound at the end.
Okay, to know the answer to this one you need not strictly be on close personal terms with Andy Abraham, you need only to have been involved in a conversation in which Andy Abraham has felt it pertinent to bring up liquorice. We imagine, however, that this is the kind of topic he would only bring up when in the company of those he is on close personal terms with, and so the rest of us will never know.
5. Which philosopher Andy Abraham feels has the best world view.
Given the lyrical matter of some of Andy Abraham’s back catalogue, we know that he must have a keen interest in philosophy. That however, is the extent of our knowledge on the subject – more specific details can be known only by his closest confidants.
6. How much Andy Abraham spends on his weekly shop.
And for that matter, what is Andy Abraham’s preferred Supermarket? Has his fame and fortune seen him make a move to Waitrose or Marks and Spencer’s? Or has he stayed close to his roots and remained loyal to Lidl or Aldi? More questions that can only be answered by those on close personal terms with the former X-Factor finalist.
7. How much resentment Andy Abraham feels towards Shayne Ward.
We should hope quite a great deal of resentment, given that Shayne wrongfully took Andy Abraham’s crown back in 2005. However, so gracious is our Andy that he has never publicly stated his resentment, and so the true answer to this question can once more only be known by his most trusted accomplices.
8. Whether or not Andy Abraham has ever heard of Uuh! Magazine.
Given our standing as an incredibly low-key online magazine, and Andy Abraham’s standing as one of the great British pop-stars of the 21st century, it would seem unlikely; however we retain a small amount of hope – and, because we are not on close personal terms with Andy Abraham, can never know for certain whether or not he is a reader of this publication. (If you are reading this Andy, please make it known to us immediately, and we will be on close personal terms sooner than you know it, allowing us to write a more accurate version of this article.)
Melanie is our editorial intern and an Andy Abraham stan